I’ve really been enjoying the discussion regarding daycare and babysitting.  However, since today is Oct. 31st, better known as Halloween, I will take a break from that ongoing discussion to explore tonight’s family fun.

I haven’t actually been trick-or-treating since I was 6, and that was my one and only time.  After that, my family always went to a “Harvest Festival” at church on Oct. 31st.  It was sort of a way to enjoy dressing up without actually celebrating Halloween.  The church always had some great games and activities, biblical-themed costume contests, and goodie bags.  Good times.

Well, that was a long time ago.  I haven’t been to church on Oct. 31st in a looong time (not that I’m THAT old, but you know what I mean).  It wasn’t an issue either.  I was in college…then grad school…then law school…so I spent most of those Halloween nights at downtown parties.  The last one of those I went to was in 2005.  My husband (then boyfriend) and I had a blast:

We were dressed as ancient (or mythological ones) Greeks.  I made the costumes out of sheets–very inexpensive.

Now that we have a daughter, the whole thing about what do we do on Oct. 31st has resurfaced.  We’ve decided that going door-to-door asking for candy is not for us.   We still enjoy dressing up and spending time together as a family so I searched for alternatives.

I came across:

  McDonald’s Halloween Mansion at the Children’s Museum of Houston, tonight from 5-8 (http://www.cmhouston.org).   Parents and children are encouraged to don freaky costumes and dance to the hauntingly hip tunes of DJ Beetlejuice as the ghoul times roll. The museum has been transformed into a place for ghastly good times in trick-or-treating, experimenting with Martin goo, and hand-making monster mosaics.

If you’re in Houston, TX, this is a good suggestion for you, otherwise, you may want to contact your local Children’s Musuem to see if they are doing the same thing.  At any rate, I hope that everyone has a FUN and SAFE evening.

Anyone have another great alternative you’d like to share?

Yesterday I posted about my struggle in finding a babysitter.  I received some FANTASTIC feedback.  Thanks!  I will post about my progress.

Some people may be wondering what I was referring to when I mentioned daycare horror stories.  For an example, I am going to share with you a photo of my nephew’s injuries he sustained while at daycare.  My brother has given me permission to post this.

I want you to look at this picture and tell me whether this looks like a normal daycare injury that should take place under the supervision of a caregiver.  I mean, deep scratches on both sides of his face?  And, then I want you to tell me what you would do if you picked your two-year-old child up from daycare and he looked like this and the owner said her son did this to your son.  Then, I will tell you what my brother did in this situation.

Now, I know all daycares are not bad.  If you’re reading this and you are an owner of a daycare or work at one, I’m sure yours is great.  It’s just that I’ve heard enough stories and seen enough to scare me into being very cautious.

  Today is the day.  Well, actually yesterday was the day I realized I MUST get a babysitter for my child.  There is an Indigent Defense Symposium CLE (continuing legal education) at my law school alma mater today–and I don’t have anyone to watch my daughter.  So, instead of paying just $25 for almost half the required annual CLEs and ethics units, I am at home listening to my daughter scream through her teething fits.

I’m almost upset, but I don’t know who to be upset with.  My daughter didn’t ask to be here so I can’t be upset with her.  What about my husband?  After all, he’s able to attend the CLE today.  His life hasn’t changed much…or has it?  Well, he works everyday to make sure his family is taken care of, so I can’t be upset with him either.  Since he’s the primary bread-winner around here, he definitely has to stay on top of his game and get those CLEs done.

Maybe I should be upset with myself.  I graduated with a Bachelors in Sociology from ECU, Masters in Public Administration from NCCU, and Juris Doctor from TSU–but the biggest decision I make during the day is whether to puree squash or carrots.  I earned a few CALI awards, served as an Editor on Law Review, served as an Executive Board member for my graduate school and 3L classes, worked hard as a Board of Advocates officer, won or settled several court cases (never lost one)…and now I get to sing “lala lala, lala lala, elmo’s world” over and over again.

The most intellectual discussion I have throughout the day is: “No, baby.  You shouldn’t hit mommy.  Be gentle.  You wouldn’t want mommy to hit you, would you?  You have to treat others the way you want to be treated.  If you hit people, you may hurt them and/or they may hit you back and hurt you.”  I’ve worked hard as an employee and volunteer in the past to gain skills through job experience, reference sources, and resume-padding.  So, imagine how wistful I feel when I hear of the mega career success my classmates, now colleagues, are enjoying.

But, I can’t be upset with myself for putting my child first, can I?  My husband and I decided I would stay home with the child[ren] until she [they] is [are] school-aged (I draw the line at home-schooling.  No can do!)   Even though I do my best to be a good wife and mother, sometimes I just feel I’m wasting my gifts and talents, which unfortunately, have nothing to do with making pumpkin pies from scratch.  My husband always reminds me that I have plenty of time to work later after the child[ren] go to school.  But, do I?  I often wonder if I’ll still be as sharp or capable as I used to be or am right now.  I mean, I can’t even attend the doggone symposium today to stay abreast of the field.

One of the ways I am supposed to balance career and family life is by working from home.  LOL!  Yeah.  That’s as easy as  pulling teeth with pliers.  You ever tried preparing and reviewing a contract with a baby in tow? Good times.  After a full year of trying this, I have learned the only way that is going to work is if I get a babysitter to help out.

Now, that is an issue.  It’s so hard for me to trust someone to take care of my daughter in the manner I want her taken care of.  I know people survive all the time by putting their children in daycare and in the care of sitters while they go to work.  I also hear all the horror stories.  I’m sure I’ll find something wrong with everyone.  What am I to do?  If you want something done right, you got to do it yourself.   That means childcare too.  Right?  But, what about me?  And, am I being selfish to even ask that question?

Ugh, the decisions!  Bottomline–I have to find someone…and she can’t be too expensive.  I need to be able to get out once in a while without having my daughter on my hip.  Surely, that won’t hurt her…or me. With the right sitter, it should even help us all.  I don’t even know where to start. Where do I find a good babysitter?

    It seems like everyday I hear or read about another scam or scheme to rob your family of what you work hard to obtain.  I received a warning about this one in my email today.  While not the first of its kind, and I can’t be too sure it’s true, I thought–hey, why not pass this along just in case there’s some validity to it.  Maybe this could actually protect you or one of your loved ones.  Please note:  this was a forwarded message and I don’t know the original sender. 

“Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car. Then we received this email yesterday:  ‘WARNING FROM POLICE BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE–NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)’

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating… You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the car jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.  And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.  If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women. A purse contains all kinds of personal informant ion and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.” 

To my readers:  I hope you do not find yourself in this situation, but if so, I hope you are vigilant and safe.

To perpetrators:  Get a job!  Stop scamming people!

When our daughter went to sleep Friday night, my husband and I watched “Sex and the City, the Movie”.  It’s laugh-out-loud funny, the fashion’s to die for (not literally), and the plot is entertaining for both sexes.  But, that’s not what I want to focus on here.

Without spoiling the movie for you–there’s a part when a series of love poems are read via email.  Being the sucker for romance that I am, I began to think about love, romance, and poetry.

People express love in different forms.  I wonder if poetry is still one of them.  Do you write love poems for your sweetie or receive them?  I haven’t, but my husband has written several that I just love.  I won’t post them here…at least not yet.

Instead, I will post my favorite classic love poem.  I just love the first line.  It puts me in a sentimental mood and I reflect on the numerous things I love about my husband rather than the many things that annoy me.  What’s yours and why?

“Sonnet XLIII, From the Portuguese”

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, –I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! –and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

This poem made it to page 43 of The Best Love Poems Ever:  Selections of the world’s greatest love poetry, edited by David Rohlfing. 

  As the primary caregiver for my daughter (aka “mom”), I have to be creative in order to keep her busy everyday all day long.  We sing, dance, read, bathe, eat, clean…you know the routine.  Sometimes it becomes boring, monotonous, and a real drag.  I can tell she’s bored when she starts climbing up on all the furniture, throwing all the books from the shelves, or constantly pulling on my leg to pick her up only to crawl back down two seconds later.  Good stuff.

I get bored too or at least tired of the same four walls.  I can’t say that I ever run out of things to do in the house, but sometimes it’s just good to get out.  One of my favorite outings is a trip to the zoo.  So, that’s where we went yesterday.

The last time we went, she was six months old and slept the whole time.  She’s still too young to fully appreciate it, but this is why it works:

1)  It’s an opportunity to teach and learn.  This is the perfect time to point out:  “lion”, “monkey”, “bat”, and “fish” and repeat in Spanish “leo’n”, “mono”, “palo”, and “pescado” or “red”, “blue”, and “green”or “meow”, “baaa”, and “mooooo”.  Instead of reading her book about farm animals, she can actually see them up close.

2)  Baby will sleep good later.  She was so worn out afterward, that when she went to bed at 8 pm, she didn’t get up until 10:30 this morning.  Awesome!

3 )  It’s an opportunity to bond with another mother.  I suppose we could have gone to the zoo by ourselves, but why not share this time with another parent who’s eager to get out of the house?  This was a great time to catch up with my friend, Vanezza, whose two children enjoyed themselves as well.  We talked and laughed about the “joys” of motherhood and she kept me straight on my Spanish.

4)  You can take more pictures for the scrapbook that everyone is just going to love later.

5)  Hubbie will have a better “what I did today” story than the usual one that consists of diaper-changing, she-just-wouldn’t-stay-still complaints, and accusatory stares because he came home late again after lolly-gagging when you really needed a break.

6)  You can get some exercise while pushing the stroller, carrying baby in your sling, or running behind the child that thinks the gorilla resembles your pet dog.

So, if you’re bored in the house, get out.  Go to the zoo.

  There are many things we can do together as a family.  You know the ol’ saying “The family that prays (or “plays” or “preys”, depending on the version you’re familiar with) together, stays together”?  No matter the version, I think the main thing is to do things together as a family. 

When you heard this phrase, you probably thought about something other than voting.  Since we do most things together in my household, we extended this to voting.  My husband took a late lunch yesterday, picked my daughter and I up, and we headed to the voting poll to do something we’ve never done before–vote early.

It was great to see other family combinations there–husband and wife, mother and daughter, etc.  Now, I understand that everyone can’t fit family voting into their busy schedules, but we can all remind and encourage other family members to exercise their right to vote.  Maybe it should be, “The family that votes together…”  You fill in the blank.

  My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow.  Yippee!  She will be one year old.  At first, we were not going to have a party.  After all, it is not as if she will remember anything.  However, everyone (family and friends) kept saying that we should.  They said it was a very big milestone that should be celebrated.

Then, there was the issue of my family in NC missing out on yet another family event here in TX.  My husband’s family would be present, but my family would not.  Bummer!

Then something unexpected happened.  Anyone who reads my blog knows that we went to NC last week for my grandmother’s funeral.  Although the occasion was not the most desired, my family turned our grief into something positive.  We celebrated my grandmother’s life and her “home going”.  And, since we were all assembled together for the entire week, we decided to also celebrate another part of the life cycle.  We had a birthday party for my daughter.  My grandmother, who talked of my daughter often, would have loved it and been proud.

So, now that we are back in TX, part II of my daughter’s birthday party will begin.  Our friends and family here will join us to celebrate her first birthday next week.

It turns out that her parties are excellent ways for our family and friends (who are like family) to come together and enjoy each other’s company.  Additionally, even though she will not remember her celebrations, she will have MANY photos to laugh at later.  I hope she will have as much fun looking at the photos as we had taking them.

Having a baby takes a toll on our bodies.  One of the main things women complain of is stretch marks.  There are all kinds of creams out there on the market.  Do any of them really work?  It seems to depend on who you ask.

This is the product I used:

Mother’s Friend

From the moment I first found out I was pregnant, I began applying Cocoa Butter tummy butter and went to look for Mother’s Friend.  I couldn’t find it in the store anywhere!  I had already heard so much about this moisturizer, that I was determined to give it a try.  I ended up ordering several containers from drugstore.com.  Boy, am I glad I did.

I greased my entire body, with the exception of my face, at least twice a day–morning and night.   I did this until after I had my daughter.  Then I started back using Cocoa Butter lotion to smooth out uneven skin tones.  I ended up with 4 very faint light lines above my navel, where my navel ring dangled waaaaay too long (I didn’t take it out until I was 7 months).  I also have a few dark lines about 1 centimeter long on both sides of my hips, where the elastic of my undergarment rested.  That’s it.

I heard that whether you get stretch marks largely depends on genetics.  Well, my mother didn’t get them on her stomach, but she used Mother’s Friend throughout her pregancy as well.  She got stretch marks on her buttocks, where she didn’t apply the grease and warned me to grease that area.  So, I did.

I’ve heard some people say they used this cream, but it did not work for them.   When I inquired further, I found they didn’t apply it consistently.  Either they started in the middle of the pregnancy or stopped before they gave birth.  Some people put on just enough to say they put some on, but did not coat themselves well enough to keep their skin moisturized beyond the initial application.

I must say that it was a concerted effort.  My husband had to apply it to some areas I could not reach, especially when I got too big and awkward.

I also heard that if it doesn’t happen with your first child it may happen with the next.  I don’t have the next to compare the results to, so I’ll keep you posted.  But, I tell you what–I intend to do the same thing the next time.  My husband and I are pleased with the results and wanted to share it with you.

Can anyone else testify to this or have another product that worked for them?

I mentioned yesterday that discussing politics could sometimes turn family events into war zones.  I know this all too well.  We have strong republicans and democrats within our family tree that usually love to turn family events into WWIII.

But, not this year!  For the first time in many moons, we actually agree on the same politician.  Even when we do not agree on every single nuance of the issues, we agree that our politician of choice has the right temperament, background, consistency, and ideas for change to lead our country out of the mess it has found itself in.

It has been very enjoyable to laugh, in unison, at the debates.  It has been historical to watch CNN and MSNBC for updates and not just to find something new to argue about.  During the most exciting election of our lifetimes, it is very refreshing for everyone in my family to be on the same accord when we say, “Barack Obama for president!”

Are you and your family on the same page this year?