Dec 22 2008
Do You Need a Girls Day Out?
I don’t know when it happened. Was it after I got married or when my daughter was born?
I’m not sure when or why it happened, but I know how– My husband and daughter drained all the pizazz from me!
I am no longer glamorous (yes, I used to be! 
). I no longer style my hair in the most fashionable way. I am lucky if I remember to shave my legs and tweeze my eyebrows. I no longer wear the sexiest, matching undergarments… and maybe worst of all–I no longer do anything for myself. When was the last time I actually went out alone (without my husband or daughter) or just hung out with a friend?
The realization of my transformation hit me while I was going through some pre-marital/ pre-preggo photos (looking for something to post on my blog, of course). It really was a sad half hour, perusing through images of the old me. So, I said to myself, “Self, you have to get out of here and do something for YOURSELF”.
Some may call putting your family ahead of yourself mature and selfless. Great. I’m sure it is. But, at what point does it all become unhealthy? When will it burn us out? Shouldn’t moms take time for ourselves and just BE ourselves?… and, that’s if you can even remember who that is… I sure don’t.
I may not remember when I traded in my 5- inch heels for tacky, yet comfortable flip-flops, but I know the moment I decided to not just be Danny’s wife or Dasha’s mother. Sure, I am those people, but I am also DAVIDA. I have likes and dislikes… wants and needs. I enjoy… uh… um… oh yes, that’s right… I remember now. I enjoy sitting on the sandy beach, eating at cozy restaurants, reading a good book, listening to soothing music, getting my hair done, and going to the movie theater.
So, that’s what we did. Tasha and I went to the movies (Read what I have to say about “Seven Pounds “). We left our darlings with their daddies and went out. We talked, reminisced of old days, laughed at the silly little boys on the corner trying to make a pass at us… and hurried home to see our babies and husbands.
Yes, only a few hours was all it took to re-center ourselves, remember who we are as individuals, enjoy those moments, and go back to our wonderful new lives of diapers, milk bottles, and gassy smiles. Nothing like a “Girls Day Out” to make us both realize we have new lives… but, they are good ones.
Go out with your girls, ladies, or just spend some quality time alone. Enjoy YOURSELF. Your husband and children will be there to love on when you get back. You’ll be glad you did.
The featured picture is of us in 2006.
I think girls/boys day outings are a great thing, when done in moderation of course. They are a unique reminder of where you’ve been and how you’ve grown. I realized things had changed for me on a boys’ night out when I noticed the only time we mentioned the topic of breasts was during a conversation about breastfeeding.
@ Danny–LOL! Oh, stop.
Davida
My first marriage, my life was all about my daughter the first five years of her life. Every waking moment was organized around her. When I divorced my husband, it was the first thing I’d done in years for me (I’d stayed “for the baby” which was a mistake for all of us) and I learned, the hard way, I had to take time for myself, even when it was just the two of us.
I set her (and now my other children) a better example being a complex person who respects, honors and nurtures herself too than I did when I was all about them.
I don’t do the girls day out (I never did it all my life), but I DO take time for me.
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!
Have fun!!!
I agree! Some time away from being a wife and mommy is so important. I always return from a ‘moms night out’ feeling refreshed and re-energized. My husband and kids always encourage me to go out with ‘the girls’. I guess they must notice a difference after!
Happy Holidays!