Feb 04 2009
Is Michael Phelps a Good Role Model For Our Children?
By now, you’ve probably heard of Michael Phelps, the swimmer who won an impressive eight gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games. You’ve probably also heard of his recent bad publicity involving a photo, first seen in the British paper, News of the World, taken of him smoking a bong pipe. The substance in the bong was believed to be marijuana.
Phelps released a statement to The Associated Press that did not dispute the authenticity of the picture:
“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”
News of the World reported the picture was taken during a November house party when Phelps was visiting the University of South Carolina. The newspaper quoted an anonymous party-goer as saying the Olympic champion was “out of control from the moment he got there.”
Since the party occurred nearly three months post-Olympics, during Phelps’ long break from training, his actions will probably have no impact on the eight golds he won at Beijing. He has never tested positive for banned substances. Phelps’ main sanctions may come from embarrassed sponsors who may reconsider their dealings with him. Although there have been speculations as to whether criminal charges will be filed, no such consequences have been doled out as of yet. The only real effect so far has been the smearing of his name.
And, that’s NOT what I intend to do here.
This story has been circulating the airways with as much frenzy as Phelps’ winnings. I can’t blame the media for that. It (media) builds careers, it destroys them. It makes people famous, it makes them infamous. It makes one a hero, and makes him a villain the next month. You have to take the good with the bad, I guess.
What I’m wondering about, though, is how will parents view this? Phelps was just made a household name, one people used as an example of determination and excellence. Children looked up to him as a role model and wanted to have his kind of success. Parents encouraged it. So, now what? Will he still be considered a good role model for your children?
How does one become a role model anyway? Because they do something good… and then maybe get paid really well to advertise something? Because they are likeable? Are they then always expected to do good and be likeable, with no room for error? Are we expecting our role models to be perfect? That would just be insane, wouldn’t it? Who could ever live up to that standard?
Michael Phelps is TWENTY-THREE… with a LOT of money…and a LOT of groupies fame. Haven’t we all done something stupid when we were younger (and even just yesterday)? Aren’t we glad we learned from that folly? Would a perfect role model really be all that great? I mean, wouldn’t we know that example would be too unattainable for us? I thought the point of a role model was to show how even the most ordinary person can do and be something extraordinary.
Would a better role model be someone who shows he or she is human, but actually learns from their mistakes? What exactly do we want them to model? Determination, compassion, generosity, love, forgiveness, courage, intelligence, physical and mental fitness, honesty…? Don’t these things become more evident in our lives over time? The more we live, the more we grow.
This young champion made a mistake by going to that party in the first place and forgetting how opportunistic people can be and has to learn from it.
Lessons I think Phelps should learn:
1. Even though he didn’t sign up to be a “role model”, being a successful athlete and signing his endorsement deals made him one.
2. We stand by him during the good and bad times. We will not be fair-weather fans.
3. We forgive his mistakes just as we would want someone to do for us because THAT is modeling good behavior.
4. He also has to learn that we understand he is young and wants to have fun, but there are legal ways to do so.
5. Whether we like it or not, people are counting on him to be a role model–which doesn’t mean he has to be perfect–but, he should strive to model good behavior for them and himself.
Lessons we should learn from this:
1. We, as parents, must realize WE are role models for our children first.
2. Since we aren’t perfect, we can’t expect anyone else to be a perfect role model either.
3. We must teach children to model the good behavior they see and learn from the bad.
4. We must accept that children have to make their own mistakes.
5. We cannot place unrealistic expectations on Phelps, our children, or ourselves.
What do you think?
Stumble It!
Two words: Bob Marley
Learning from this kind of lesson applies to anyone caught doing something stupid. However, I’ve never understood the reasoning that being famous or accomplishing something remarkable through your own efforts means that you owe the rest of the world something.
If you are a spokesman for products (and he likely is), then those sponsors can be disturbed when one of their spokespeople makes a mistake and react accordingly, depending on the seriousness of the lapse. But I don’t believe that someone accomplishing something so that they are a considered a role model for kids means that they owe something to the world.
People are flawed and they should be allowed to make mistakes just like regular people. And, like losing a sponsor or a job, they must pay the consequences when they screw up. That’s what happens in real life.
I’ve never understood the mindset that celebrity means you forfeit your right to privacy or that you have to answer to the criticism of the world if you put on a few pounds (Jessica Simpson) or make a mistake. Life is tough enough already without being judged by the world.
I think owning up to your mistakes is showing that you are a role model. The media expects everyone to be perfect and that’s the problem. No one is perfect. Expectations of Phelps are over the top. He’s human like everyone else. All he needs to do is say sorry.
Tough one. Personally, I think it’s fine to admire someone’s professional accomplishments, but at the end of the day Michael Phelps is just a person, prone to the same lapses in judgments and temptation as anyone. I think idolizing sports figures is unwarranted and I really don’t think the incident deserves the media attention it’s getting.
Rastaman–ok…uh…thanks.
Stephanie–I agree that he doesn’t owe us anything. You’d think that was the case with the way some are coming down on him in the media. Some seem almost excited about damaging his reputation. The loss of his privacy is certainly another interesting thing here. Unfortunately, he has lost his ability to screw up in private and everything requires press conferences and formal statements of apology. He is just a man… who has accomplished some remarkable things… but, a man first.
Jodapoet–It certainly shows character that he was able to apologize publicly for doing something in his personal life.
Stacy–Phelps must have thought he was among friends. He must have forgotten that he is a star and people will do anything to make money off of him. Selling his photo was shameful.
MrsBear–I hope people are idolizing his fierce determination and discipline that has made him excel at sports rather than him actually being an athlete or sports figure.
Nicole–Yes, it can definitely be used as a teaching tool for older children.
Millie–Thank you. It’s like I mentioned to Stacy–taking his photo and selling it (you know they did) to the press was shameful.
Thanks for the comments!!!
Davida
I don’t think it will be a big deal. Like Censorship Sucks said, it was just some grass. I haven’t heard word of any of his sponsors talking about pulling out on his endorsement deals. I’ll bet he will keep a better eye on who he keeps in his company from now on.
Censorship–You got a point. You won’t hear me say smoking marijuana is any worse than drinking alcohol. People act like Phelps committed a cardinal sin. Glad you stopped by to rant.
Davida
Kara–Thanks!
Danny–No one’s mentioned anything about pulling support from him and I hope it stays that way. You know how people can cave under pressure.
Melody–I respect your opinion, but I disagree with him even having to apologize to US and making things right with US, the public, his fans, and the country he represented. I think he was a better man for having done so, but it shouldn’t be required of him.
On another note, I understand that he had a DUI charge a few years back, so maybe he will be one of those who apologizes but doesn’t actually regret his actions. I still don’t think he has to prove his remorse to anybody.
Thanks for the comments!!!
Davida
Thanks for adding to the discussion, Matt.
I just responded to Melody that I think he was a better man for apologizing even though I don’t think it was something he HAD to do. I think he has realized how much his actions affect others and decided to apologize and do better. Because he asked for forgiveness, I believe he should receive it. I also think that’s a good role model.
Davida
Just another note. We often talk about celebrities as if they owe the public something. If you’re out promoting yourself as something, you may have a point. Phelps promotes himself as a fast swimmer. I feel safe in saying he does that. There’s no fraud here, folks. If you promote yourself as a holier-than-though evangelist (like, say, Swaggert) and get caught with a prostitute, well, you might have some ’splainin’ to do. Not to me, though. I have bigger things to do that police morality.
But, why can’t we insist on meeting legal standards for the people we pay to represent our government? We the people frequently look the other way with graft, sexual misconduct (even the illegal kind), tax evasion, LYING TO US - there was an article once that explained that nearly half of Congressmen had passed a bad check. This is the sort of thing we shouldn’t sit still for. Yes, they’re also people, but they are sworn to protect the public good and uphold the law. When we’ve cracked down on this kind of misuse of the public trust by people paid to uphold the law, I’ll start worrying about the minor transgressions of celebrities. Or maybe not. I don’t see why it’s a matter for worry anyway.
Great points. I think it is a good reminder to talk to our children about the fact that celebrities are people who make mistakes. I try to teach my kids to do what is right and now what the celebrities do.
it’s just pot! It’s not a big deal people…
I didn’t like his personality/persona before this incident and I like him even less now. 23 years old is old enough to know better! Obviously this isn’t the first time he’s partaken - and yes I did stupid things and I was willing to take responsibility for those actions but I was much younger than 23 and I didn’t use my age as an excuse.
Bottom line - Michael Phelps is a grown man and he knows better - Period.
I think who ever took that cell phone picture of him in the first place, was paid alot of money to release it. It’s pot, it’s not as big a deal as, eve,n getting arrested for drunk driving. Infact, when I saw it,I laughed at the picutre.
But, athletes and such people, must always be on the up and up to every action they choose. He, infact, was having fun, true. But he is so much in the public eye, that everything he does is scrutinated. He was not hurting anyone, he was having fun,I did the same at his age. Only I’m not a world famous athlete with a contract from Kellogs.
The outrage is ridiculous. Marijuana is less harmful than alcohol and we see our “role models” drinking booze without even giving it a second thought. I think Michael Phelps is the poster boy for legalizing it already. No, people who smoke pot do not all of a sudden become losers and criminals. Some highly successful people enjoy it.
http://obamacomics.today.com
UPDATE: Kellogg will not renew its endorsement contract with Phelps. Kellogg reported that Phelps’ actions are not consistent with the image it wants to promote.
USA Swimming also suspended Phelps for three months and cut-off financial support during this suspension.
Some commenters mentioned there was nothing wrong with smoking marijuana. Which brings up an interesting point of distinction–
Are those who are mostly disturbed by Phelps’ behavior upset with the fact he was smoking marijuana or that he was doing something illegal? If it has to do with him doing something illegal, the argument about smoking marijuana not being wrong or pot not being bad will probably not matter to them.
Thank you all for the comments!!!
Davida
I knew Kellogg would terminate the deal. They are all about kids and Pot and Kids don’t really go together.
I think it is sad that he is banned from swimming for 3 months. He smoked pot. He didn’t do speed or crack or rob someone or far worse.
I think it will blow over. Most people don’t care. I think, as others have said, it is a great opportunity to talk about drugs with children.
Like you said, he’s young and has money and sudden fame. He probably does not realize he is going to be looked at as closely as Brittney Spears now.
We ALL have done stupid things. I was just thinking the other day about some really stupid things I’ve done in the past and thanking God that no one will ever find photos or ever care. I’d only have to answer to my parents.
I’ve heard some stars say they embrace the idea that they are role models and want to be good images for younger people. I’ve heard others say in no way are they a role model for anyone other than their own children.
Either way, I’d rather have a child see someone make a mistake, admit it, apologize for it, learn from it and do better. After all, that’s what children are supposed to be learning. Not to be perfect, because that’s impossible, but to learn from their mistakes and do better next time.
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/