Feb 28 2009
7 Things That Never Happen Until You’re Married.
My husband went out with some of his fraternity brothers last night. Today, he shared with me some of the interesting things that happened… and that’s what spurred this post. We had a good laugh as we thought about things that never happen until you’re married. I hope you find our list entertaining…
7 THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED:
1. A car full of single, attractive, lonely women, looking for a dude to entertain them, just rode up next to you and asked “Where’s the party?” (inspired by my husband’s evening with the fellas)
2. Your friend nominated you for ABC’s hit reality show “The Bachelor” or the “The Bachelorette” while you were still single. ABC is filming the next season in your local area. They are looking for someone just like you and gave you a call for an interview.
3. Your single friends just watched “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” or an episode of “Girls Gone Wild” and invited you to an all-expense-paid trip to an exotic, secluded, nude beach.
4. Your first love, who you searched for ten years to reconnect with and thought you’d never see again, just wrote you on Facebook: “I miss you. I’m still single. Are you?”
5. The family attorney just found your deceased uncle’s hand-written will. Since Uncle Cool never thought someone would actually marry you, he bequeathed $10 million to you if you never got married, as a consolation gift.
6. Your single friends are hosting a co-ed pajama party.
7. You just received a lucrative job offer from Hugh Hefner to be his personal assistant. It requires you to move into the playboy mansion and keep the ladies entertained. Your commitment to the job must be a minimum of five years. Sorry, ladies. I couldn’t think of an equivalent for this one.
Update: this is the female equivalent…
Hugh Hefner wants you to be one of his pampered princesses. He gives you a brand new mercedes, $100,000 savings account, $10,000/ month stipend, tells you to do whatever you want, whenever as long as you stay at the mansion for a guaranteed five-year term.
For married readers: Anything happened to you that you know wouldn’t have if you were single?
For single readers: Anything you want to happen that you know probably won’t until you’re married?
- You never know until you try it on
- When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.
- Its the Little Things That Make You Happy…
- Sometimes you’ll hear people say that you can’t love others until you love yourself
- Chicken Kiev and All That (Part IV: Are You Sure This is the Same Child?)
(Married) Nope, I’m dull. And my husband, even before we got married, has teenage girls and young women follow him around in public. He just has that aura.
Ewwww, Hugh Heffner. I don’t get too many tempting offers since most days I look like a slob and have four children attached at the hip…not too many hot, eligible men are waiting to jump on that. lol. Besides I only have eyes for one guy…the one who pays the bills. Kidding, kidding. Great list though.
I suppose that women have a 6th sense for men that are willing to commit, settle down, start a family, provide, etc. It’s a given that once the man signs up for all that and takes his vows that he suddenly becomes instantly attractive to the unpaired women of the world.
I agree that the same goes for women, but by different means. When we stop trying so hard, relax, and exude some amount of self confidence, most men find that more attractive.
My friend, Tonya, emailed the following comment to me on 01 Mar 2009 at 7:55 am:
“Girl this is so true and funny! Its amazing how when you are single none of these things happen and as soon as you are married all of these things come out of the wood work! Just thank God almighty that you have an honest husband some people are not that loyal and honest, you are blessed and as I have told you many times you deserve this great man in your life and I am very proud of you! love you!”
Davida
Stephanie, I didn’t realize your hubby was such a hottie. Lucky you.
Lisa, I’m very glad to be one of your top droppers!
Signe, I think some people feel less nervous when there is nothing at stake. You remind me of the downside to having my gym at home now.
MrsBear, your comment gives me an idea for the female equivalent– “Hugh Hefner wants you to be one of his pampered princesses. He gives you a brand new mercedes, $100,000 savings account, $10,000/ month stipend, tells you to do whatever you want, whenever as long as you stay at the mansion for a guaranteed five-year term…”
Olwestmom, your comment is a culmination of Signe’s and Lisa’s. Women have more confidence when they are married and men demonstrate how mature and manly they can be (theoretically, speaking).
Thanks for the comments!!!
Davida