Mar 08 2009
How To Crash a Birthday Party.
Yesterday was a fun, busy, and tiring day. My family went to choir practice and two birthday parties. The first party was for an eight-year-old child and the second was for a one-year-old… Good times. We took lots of pics, but most didn’t come out well enough to post here. I was able to observe the interactions of many of the children– and that’s what sparked this blog post.
Top 5 Ways To Crash A Toddler Birthday Party:
1. Have a cold. That’s right. Cough, sneeze, and have a runny nose. Cough and sneeze around the food, on all the other babies, don’t cover your mouth, and let your mommy forget to wipe your nose.
By now, you all know how near-germaphobish I am. There was a boy at the party who needed to be quarantined. He had it B-A-D!
2. Stinky in your diaper. There’s nothing like smelling old poop in a baby’s diaper. Even though most places are kid-friendly these days and have changing tables, it’s better to just let it sit in your diaper for aroma’s sake.
FYI–The Little Gym had two bathrooms, both equipped with changing tables.
3. Be the only child who doesn’t want to participate.
Well, I’m ashamed to say this was my daughter. I was sure she’d be excited, since the party was at The Little Gym. I thought she would enjoy bouncing around on the inflated machine, but noooo. She was the only one crying and wanting to get off. 
4. Tell the birthday girl you just came for the food. This probably works even better if you “forget” to take a gift.
I don’t know of a child (or parent) who is this insensitive and rude. It just seemed like a good way to crash a party.
5. Dive in to the birthday girl’s cake before she gets a chance to blow out her candle and taste it herself. After all, she doesn’t REALLY need to eat all that, does she?
The image that came to mind with this one was funny to me. Thankfully, this didn’t happen at the birthday party. The birthday girl ate her cake in peace and the guests had yummy slices from another cake.
Anyone been to a birthday party and witnessed someone crash it? Have you or your little one crashed a party? Do tell.
My awful father-in-law (who recently divorced my mother-in-law after 50 years of marriage … for a younger woman) would show up late to the grandchild’s birthday party, cut a piece of cake before we lit the candles, and leave again without even saying a word to the grandchild. He was HORRIBLE!!!
dawn
http://iowahippiechick.today.com
That’s funny and very true!
Make sure no one comes to the birthday party. For reasons unknown, I could not get any people to come to her first three birthdays (I suspect my husband had been alienating people) and, after my divorce, my ex-husband made sure no one came to several of her other birthdays. I just stopped having “public” birthdays so she wouldn’t have the heartbreak or only invited 1-2 bestest friends.
Iowahippiechick, that IS terrible… I mean, all of it.
Laurel, thanks for stopping by.
Anne, you mean my daughter may not grow out of this stage??? Oh, boy.
Signe, yeah. That’s one heck of a way to crash your own party. Poor baby.
Stephanie, that’s really sad. I almost didn’t have a birthday party for my daughter because of that. No one showed up for my bridal shower so I didn’t have a baby shower. We are ALWAYS going to everybody’s events and supporting them. I was really heartbroken and didn’t want that to happen again. Luckily, we have been having a few folks come to our events, but the ratio of invites to attendees is drastically one-sided. I have intentionally been keeping events much more private as a result AND since I’m big on reciprocity, I don’t forget those who are non-supportive…
Thanks for the comments!!!
Davida
I’ve witnessed number 5 plenty of times, especially at the parties for the younger kids. If they’re all crowded around the cake, it’s almost guaranteed that one of them will reach in with a chubby fist for a sneak-taste of frosting. Stinky diapers bring me down too.