Signe asked:  “Why can men not figure out how to put a new roll of TP on when the old one’s run out?… Is it laziness or one of those “oh, she’ll do it” kind of things?”

The Mother asked:  “I want to know why my boys never can hit the john… Why do they have those handy aimer thingies if they aren’t going to use them?”

Great Questions!  Now for “DANNY’S 2 ¢“…

“Men’s Toilet Etiquette

 This is one of the biggest battles between the sexes ever since we decided to use a toilet instead of going out in the open.  It’s actually not much of a battle, since men are usually on the defensive when it comes to this subject matter.  Women always want to know why guys don’t put the seat back down, cant seem to get all of their business in the toilet, or replenish an empty roll of toilet paper?  Well since I’m guilty of at least one of these offenses pretty regularly, I know a little more about this topic than murses.  Hopefully this post can enlighten someone and give some possible solutions to these common toilet etiquette problems.

Why Don’t You Put the Toilet Seat Back Down?

This offense definitely gets a heated reaction, since the consequences for those who follow is the steepest.  Most of us don’t look at the toilet as the ideal place to bathe, so the unexpected splash to the backside is sure to invoke at least one strong emotion, including surprise, anger, disgust, horror, or all of the above.  The good news is of the three most common offenses, this is the one that is the easiest to correct. Since this is an action required every time we use a toilet, it is a lot easier to add it to the bathroom ritual and make it a habit.

Why Can’t You Seem to Get it All in the Toilet?

Women seem to have the hardest time figuring out why men have such difficulties with our aim. Since a woman’s routine consists of no aiming, I can understand why you may have a difficult time understanding this problem.  Typically these nasty spills aren’t necessarily a result of bad aim, but a myriad of other factors.

The biggest factor is the spray factor.  Since the stream doesn’t always come out in a perfectly straight line, it becomes a little more difficult to get it all in the toilet.  Just think about it like aiming the water coming out of your shower head.  If it is set to a single stream then it’s easy to keep it all in one place.  If it’s set on spray, the task of keeping it all together gets a little trickier.  Since men don’t necessarily have control over the spray factor there is no real solution besides trying to get as much of it in the toilet as he can and cleaning up whatever mess that is caused afterwards.

Another problem is the splash problem.  Since most toilets are a couple of feet lower than the average man’s “aimer,” it is not uncommon to have some toilet water splash around the edges of the toilet from the force of the urine hitting the water.  This doesn’t usually cause as big a mess as the spray factor, but can leave some unsightly wet puddles on the brim of the toilet. I guess in theory, a man could try to keep from spraying so forcefully, but practically it is just easier to clean up whatever mess is made than trying to urinate softly.

The best solution to both of these common problems is to form a habit of taking a little piece of tissue and wiping the brim of the toilet every time you use it.  If it’s a really bad episode, he may need to wipe the floor and the wall, but typically the brim is the one that catches things the most.  Doing so will make whoever’s cleaning the bathroom happy and could possibly help with the next common problem.

Why Can’t You Ever Seem to Replace the Toilet Paper?

I think all of us have had a bad experience with noticing the roll was empty after we had already begun our business on the toilet.  It’s never a good feeling, especially if a replacement roll is not close by.  Of course, since women use toilet paper more often, they would run into this dilemma much more often than men.

Let’s look at the numbers.  Women use toilet paper every time they use the restroom, which can be several times in a day.  Men only require toilet paper when they need to sit on the throne, which is more like once a day.  So women will notice the status of the roll every time she uses the restroom, whereas a man will only notice it roughly once a day.  That being said it’s easy to understand why women complain about the roll being empty the most, because they use it the most.

The best solution for this problem is for the man to clean the brim of the toilet every time he uses the restroom as mentioned above.  If a man gets in a habit of cleaning the brim of the toilet, then he will notice the status of the roll every time he uses the restroom as well.  Thus he will be more likely to replace the roll, than if he never touches the roll unless his backside is touching the pot.”

Trackback URI | Comments RSS