Apr 06 2009
Mommy Confessions (Judgment-Free Zone).
Oprah’s show today saluted all moms for unselfishly taking care of the next generation. Moms from around the world shared confessions of motherhood without the threat of feeling judged. I’ve listed a few of those confessions here…
Mommy Confessions:
**urinating in a diaper, herself, because it was more convenient than stopping to go to a restroom with a van full of sleeping kids.
**using a maxi-pad as a diaper for a six-month-old baby after realizing she had run out of diapers.
**pretending to cry in front of the children in order to get them to behave (or using other “shock and awe” strategies.
**having to reinvent sex in a marriage after children. I’d Trade My Husband For a Housekeeper: Loving Your Marriage After the Baby Carriage authors, Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile discussed this in their book (available below) and shared a few tips on Oprah’s show.
**hating her husband, not loving the baby right away, and feeling like she had made a terrible mistake by making the decision to become a mother in the first place.
**losing control, losing relationships, and losing choices in life.
**feeling that motherhood is a 12-step program that has to be taken one day at a time.
**not bathing or grooming herself for several days at a time.
Moms confessed to not being honest about these things to people in the past for fear of being judged or looked at as being a bad mom. Today, they felt free enough to share the truth about motherhood.
Apparently, feelings of loneliness, despair, anxiety, desperation, sleeplessness… being overburdened, feeling unappreciated, wanting to run away… and overall unhappiness in motherhood are not uncommon. In fact, the new ABC show, “In The Motherhood”, explores these realities of motherhood by using real-life stories. Moms are encouraged to submit their own real life stories on the site. The show lets all moms know they are not alone.
And, that is the purpose of this post.
I salute all mothers, especially mine 
. I also want you all to know that no matter what your situation, there is someone who can relate to it. If you’re going through something particularly difficult, there is no shame in reaching out for help.
One mother, Heather Armstrong, found the help she needed by starting her own blog. While suffering severe post-partum depression, she began to write about her daily struggles. She received much support and comfort from readers. She attributes her blog to saving her life.
While your story may not generate over $40,000/ month in revenue from a blog or book (It Sucked and Then I Cried, available below) as Heather’s does, opening up to someone about what you’re going through, as she did, may help you. So, confess it.
My Confession:
After being a -work-from-home mom for seventeen months, I’ve had the opportunity to discover the pros and cons of motherhood. Yes, I’ve had some moments when I just wanted to run away. I’m aware that’s probably not the best thing to say when you’re trying to conceive a second child, but I promise I don’t feel this way all the time.
I have a good life. I love and enjoy spending time with my husband and daughter. In spite of that, I have had feelings of just going away from them both and spending some time by myself… so sue me.
I felt guilty and stupid for feeling this way and did not want to share it on this blog since I know my family and close friends read it (once a year). I discussed it with my fellow-blogger, Stephanie, instead. She was generous enough to take two full blog posts to address my issues… and I feel better. There. I wrote it. That’s my mommy confession.
Have any mommy confessions you want to get off your chest in this judgment-free zone?
I have me want-to-run-screaming-from-it-all days, I think most moms do. And the guilt almost always follows. I think we need to allow ourselves some time to be adult women and not just “mom” 24/7. A girl’s night out always does wonders for my perspective.
Oh I can relate. I think we all have those days where we feel like running away. It gets very overwhelming at times.
Received from Facebook:
Tonya on 7 Apr 2009 at 10:57 am
“I didn’t really know how to post a comment on the blog but I feel you so much on the wanting to run and get away by yourself for a while! I have two children a teenager and a 5 year old. Both I have raised by myself, even though my daughter’s father is in her life I have been the disciplinarian(if that is a word) for the most part so that makes me look like the bad person, my son’s father has nothing at all to do with him so I am stuck with having to be both mom and dad and it is hard because it seems you can never find the time to just get by yourself because he is always there. It does sometimes makes you feel like a bad person/mother when you have these crazy thoughts but they come, I try to make my life fun by including my kids in all of my vacations, my out to eat times (that I really want by myself), and everyday outings. Though I want so bad to just have those moments by myself or with my friends(well don’t really have any near me) so I just pray and ask God for patience.”
See, these are the stories that you beat your kids over the head with when they’re grown
My mom certainly does.
KeriJ
http://sissymomma.today.com
Received from Facebook and edited for errors:
AJ 07 Apr 2009 at 7:38 pm
“Motherhood is a lot of work. I know we all have days that we want to get up and RUN OUT OF THE HOUSE, BUT WHAT MAKES US DIFFERENT IS THAT WE DON’T DO IT! God has graced us for the task he has put before us. We have to rely on him then.”
Thanks to everyone who opened her (and his–Ken :)) heart to share confessions. We all get overwhelmed sometimes. I think it helps to know we are not alone. My mother suffered from post-partum depression and I think an avenue like this would have really helped her back then.
Anywho… I hope this post was helpful. It certainly was for me.
Davida
I completely understand. I epically wanted to close the door and sleep all day after the 1 year old woke up at 4 a.m. and wouldn’t go back to sleep until about 8 a.m. By then it was time to get up really and do things around the house.
My youngest is 15 now, and some days I still just want to run away. When they were very little and I only had one or two of them (I have five) at home, I sometimes loaded them into their car seats in the middle of the night to go for a long drive because if I had to stay in those four walls for one more minute, I was going to lose it. They slept through it all, but I tortured myself about my midnight car rides and how bizarre they’d sound to other mothers. P.S. - I also let my kids sleep in my bed with me until they were old enough not to want to.
I’m with MeaCulpaBodyandBath on this!
I think sometimes I focus on my money making avenues online too much that I don’t spend enough time just sitting down with them and watching cartoons. If there’s no homework for my son, then I’ll leave disney channel to babysit them. Sometimes they eat later than usual too. I know I know.. it’s horrible.