My husband delivered his first sermon last Sunday, May 17th.  Since it is entitled “Family Values”, I thought it would be appropriate for this blog.  There are 2 separate videos (Part I and II), totaling under 40 minutes.  I hope something he said will be a blessing to you and your family.
Danny’s 1st Sermon - Part 1

Danny’s 1st Sermon - Part 2

I’ll be inspirational today.  Here are some quotes to reflect on throughout the month of April:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.  Live the life you have imagined.“  by Henry David Thoreau.

Are you living the life you imagined?  If so, GREAT!  If not, what will it take to get there?  Be confident enough to make it happen.

“How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of these.” by George Washington Carver.

Are you treating others the way you would want to be treated if you were in their situation?  Remember, you reap what you sow… what goes around comes around… you get my point. 

“We owe our children a better future.  We owe our country a better future.  And for all those who dream of that future tonight, I say–let us begin the work together.  Let us unite in common effort to chart a new course for America.” by President Barack Obama.

Are you creating opportunities for your children (and other children) to have a better future?  Do you dream of a better future for them?  Think of things you can do to help make it possible.  Volunteer?  Recycle?  Donate?  And, just do it.

These quotes were all taken from the 2009 Barack Obama Wall Calendar:  Words of Hope and Inspiration.  I bought six of these calendars in January for friends and family (12.99 each). We all LOVE it!  You can get it here at a reduced price ($8.66):

It’s my pleasure to participate in Music Monday. Today, I’m featuring Shei Atkins, a neo-gospel singer, who also happens to be the praise and worship leader at our church.

Admittedly, I have not been a fan of gospel music in the past. The quality was usually not up-to-par, the music was old-fashioned and dull, OR the music was so close to secular, with a little sprinkle of spirituality, I may as well have just listened to secular music.

Well, that’s not the way it is with Shei’s music. Her music is uplifting… uptempo… based on spiritual principles… modern and original… and of good vocal and production quality.  I have included a few of her tunes from youtube.com for your listening pleasure.  So give our local talent a listen:

“Temptation” can be found on Shei’s “Girl Talk” album.  The song is about a single woman’s struggle to maintain her life of chastity after being tempted by her flesh.  The woman rises above her desires by focusing on God.

 ”Crying Out” is also featured on the “Girl Talk” album.  It is about a forced incestuous experience that a young girl had to go through.  She cried out to God from the pain and learned how to be free from not only the pain, but the guilt and shame.

Shei may be the beautiful and elegant face with the powerful voice and heartfelt message, but her husband, “Drathoven” is the musical genius behind her and founder of Drathoven Music Group (DMG, Inc.).  Together, they are a force to be reckoned with! 

(No, I’m not getting paid for this review.)

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. One simple rule, leave ONLY the actual post link here. You can grab this code at LJL Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

Sometimes when we are going through difficult things, it’s easy to focus on them and forget all the many blessings we have.  As I was driving and listening to The Monique Show, Wednesday afternoon, she and her co-hosts were discussing this issue.  Listeners were encouraged to call in with something in their lives that wasn’t good and compare it against something that could be worse.

For example, one lady called in and said she and her colleagues were having to work fifty-six or more hours a week because the company was trying to keep from hiring other people.  While her colleagues were complaining about this, the lady said she was thankful to even have a job in this economy.  With all the people she knew that had been laid off from work, she knew it could be worse.

You may be one of those who lost your job, but you have good health and loving parents who don’t mind helping you through right now.  That’s a blessing.  It could be worse.  Your house may have been foreclosed on, but you were able to find a less costly alternative, such as an apartment, to provide shelter for your two children who are straight “A” students.  That’s a blessing.  It could be worse.

I have a tendency to look at the glass as half empty, so I make a deliberate effort to focus on the positive things in life… starting first thing in the morning because that’s when I’m most ugly-acting I’m not really a morning person.  Being positive doesn’t make me complacent, because I still address whatever needs to be corrected.  Being positive and focusing on what’s most important helps me to be truly joyful.

If you’re going through a rough time, I encourage you to remember that you don’t have it as bad as you think you do.  There’s someone right now who would LOVE to trade places with you.  There is something you can be grateful for.  Whatever you’re going through, be thankful that it is not worse.  If you’re having trouble thinking of something to be grateful for or a situation that could be worse than yours…

Situations That May Be Worse:

1.  Monica lost all four of her limbs as a result on an infection, but she never forgot what was most important to her–family.  The flesh-eating bacteria did not destroy her life.  She was determined to get back home to her two daughters and loving husband.  Click on the link to read her inspirational story told on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”.

2.  Yvette has had nearly twenty surgeries and nonstop physical and emotional pain and scarring as a result of an abusive husband’s attack by setting her on fire.  Despite everything, she maintains a positive attitude and strives hard to be a positive role model for her daughter and other survivors of domestic abuse.  You can also read her story featured on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” by clicking on the link.

3.  Lastly, the Octo Mom, Nadya Suleman.  She needs no introduction.  I’m sure everyone is familiar with her controversial story.  She gave birth to octuplets after already having six children.  She now has fourteen children under the age of seven.  Despite what one may think of her choices in life, I think it’s safe to say–we wouldn’t want to trade places with her.  I mean, I get frustrated with one very sweet, independent, beautiful, and brilliant sixteen-month-old daughter.  I CAN’T IMAGINE HAVING THIRTEEN MORE!  And, I have an involved husband.  So, yes.  On those days when Dasha is particularly demanding… it could be worse.  Click here to view a video of this octuplet rarity.

Furthermore, I thought I was huge during pregnancy…

Now, do you really have it that bad???

Well, today I’m featuring a poem my husband wrote for the same competition three years later…and won.  I was and am so proud of him.  Thankfully, this is one of his cleaner poems that I can actually share with you because before I met him, he was busy writing about women and… well, nevermind.

He said he thinks my poem was too long and that was a big setback for the competition.  He also wanted me to let you know that he wrote this poem in five minutes.  Cocky, isn’t he?  Please enjoy…

 “Coming Together”

 Brothers and sisters, please lend me your ear,

I want to address the issues in our community that seem to get worse with the passing of each year,

Drugs, violence and poverty just to name a few,

Behaviors that although seem bad are nothing new,

They stem from hundreds of years of hate, jealousy, and a lack of self-pride,

And we tend to turn our backs on each other, when our arms need to stay opened wide,

Our small differences have kept us so far apart,

And used against us to keep every other emotion, but love in our hearts,

While we are a blessed group of people and able to adapt with variations in our life,

We shouldn’t use them against each other to cause one another strife,

Claiming to be from the East and West Coast, the Caribbean and the Motherland,

Using these differences to the point were some of us have began to keep guns in our hands,

Being divided is how we have progressed to our present state,

Both slavery and colonization are the result of self-hate,

Small difference used to divide our people into controllable groups is where our problems stem,

Where our people can’t get along with someone who looks just like them,

Think of how our community would change if instead of being critical of our brother,

We would embrace the difference and come together to support one another,

There would have been a different story after Katrina hit New Orleans,

If all the children were instructed to embrace the evacuees instead of treating them so mean,

And why did they pick on those children from New Orleans, because it wasn’t due to color,

It was just the small differences the children found amongst one another,

So lets make a change and not result to childish ways,

And ensure that our future outshines the our past in the most recent days,

Lets learn to look beyond the minor differences to the common thread we have together,

We have a past that stretches to the beginning of mankind and we continue to influence the world wherever…

We decide to make our home, whether it be Houston, New Orleans, East, or West Coast,

Coming together is the only way for us all to move forward, and that’s what matters the most.

April 16, 2007

I promise you this is a RARE occasion… and honestly, I don’t know what has come over me to do this now.  I feel vulnerable because I am going to open myself up and share something very personal with whomever dares to read this blog.

No, it won’t be about my bra fitting Saturday, where I learned that I’m a 36H (visualize two large tents).  No, it won’t be my Valentine’s Day plans for my honey.  And, no.  It won’t be about how I was kicked out of my church group four months ago or how I managed to be accepted again recently.

Let me just get to what it’s about.

I wrote a poem during my second year of law school for a poetry competition at the school.  Since it was a historically black university, I had to write about the Civil Rights struggle.  And, so I did.  It saddens me to tell you the rest of the story, partly because I’m still sensitive about losing the competition.  No, I didn’t win the free PMBR bar review course (my classmate, Michael Knight, did), but that was no big deal (apparently, I didn’t need the course anyway).  What hurt the most is that I didn’t place first, second, third, or FOURTH!  My confidence in my writing was crushed.

Yes, I know it was the first time I had written a poem since I was knee-high to a fly.  Yes, I know I wrote the poem in about an hour.  BUT still.  I thought I was a good writer and the judges didn’t like my poem (big sigh).

Anywho, I’m going to subject myself to artistic scrutiny again.  Read it and remember the words of Erika Badu’s song, “…Remember, I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my *%$ish.”

It’s better if read aloud… Maybe I should have made a note of this for the judges.

I only let two other people read it:  the Law Review secretary, Ms. Goffney (who thought the poem was brilliant and unfortunately, passed away a year later.  RIP), and later, my husband.

(clearing throat)  Without further stalling…

“The Struggle”

Sister! Brother! Oh, what a story!
How African-Americans rise
From rags to riches,
Oppression to glory,
So many sacrificed lives
But–worth it all, for
We have come a mighty long way.. .

The strength of our forefathers
And mothers passed to us
Through hard lessons
And their power
Is in our possessions
No guns or knives as weapons
But–wisdom and understanding…

Grandma and grandpas’ spirits
Sang out loud and strong–

Let freedom ring!
Ring! Ring!
Do you hear what I hear?
The sound of rising African-American
Men and women.. .

Rising in their careers
Letting go of their fears
Of failure and of
Inferiority.
Education a necessity,
Ambition a must,
Success–more than mere possibility.. .

Rising in their finances and credits
Yes, “credit”
Oh, just let it
be so–as this is capitalism and democracy
Don’t you see?
How much the struggle
Really means. . .

Maybe you don’t or won’t
Open your eyes to see
Or maybe it’s just–
Nobody knows the trouble
We’ve seen,
Or where we’ve been,
Or where we’ll be.. .

But we’re destined for

 Great things
Ask Martin Luther King,
Jr.–but then again,
You can’t because he sacrificed
His life
For the struggle.. .

The “Civil Rights Struggle”
That is–
So that African-Americans
Might live
More in harmony with Caucasians
Than we did
In the past.. .Alas!

Why must we suffer?
Oh, Lord
While many others
Live what seems the good life
Not thinking twice
About what it means to have
Families broken apart.. .

Those close to your heart
Taken. . . sold. . . for what?
Money? Labor?
People like Rosa Parks
Forced to the back of the bus
Or jail, but forever leaving a mark
On the “Civil Rights Struggle”. . .

What a shame! What a pity!
African-Americans treated unfairly
Discrimination, no compensation,
Only an apology
But DON’T pity us, for really
We have a plan, AND
We still rise
To everyone’s surprise.. .
Through the “Civil Rights Struggle”.

April 30,2004

Thanks for being a good sport and reading.

  Two days ago, I blogged about Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore answering Obama’s call to service by enlisting the help of other celebrities and making a video encouraging the nation to pledge to give back to the community, in some selfless way.  Well, apparently, MANY have answered Obama’s call… even coffee giant, Starbucks.

The Starbucks Pledge 5 campaign goes like this– If you say, “I’m in”, you pledge to volunteer at least five hours of community service this year.  As a sign of appreciation (and incentive for coffee lovers), Starbucks will give you one free tall brewed coffee.  How awesome is that!  Click on the link to learn more and make your pledge.

Over 400,000 hours have already been pledged.  Even more awesome!

Can you imagine what our community will look like once more and more people begin to sacrifice their time to help their neighbors?  What would our community look like if we ALL did?

You in?  Spread the word…

Right before my constitutional law final, Professor Fain gave us (her students) black and white copies of the most motivational picture I have ever seen.  I kept it.  I even put it up on my wall during a tumultuous period of my life.  I don’t think I ever told her how much it meant to me.  Anywho…

Although it’s not currently up on my wall (I am intending to purchase a color copy and frame it), whenever things are tough, I think about this picture.  And, I want to share it with you:

While I am not certain of its origin (apparently there are many different versions now), I did some research for this post and found this site.   If you’re looking for inspiration, this may help.  If it blesses you, share it with someone.

You’ve probably been inundated with inaugural news ever since the November election.  However, I would be remiss to discuss inspiration today and not mention some of the hope imparted to America, even the world, by our 44th President during his inaugural speech:

“Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.”

If you missed it, and want to read President Obama’s speech in its entirety, click here .

Be inpired, my friends.

Ok, I got excellent responses from yesterday’s post , so this is Part II… the Finale… I promise.

7.  IN HEALTH:

I have been struggling with migraines since I was a teenager.  I mean, the kind that knock you to your knees.  Well, I just learned that I have been throwing away money on advil, excedrin, prescription ibuprofen, and tylenol.  I learned that I wasted time on homemade remedies like pressing the pressure points on my head and hands, soaking my hands in warm water, and placing a cool towel on my forehead.

All I do now is drink GREEN TEA.  That’s right.  GREEN TEA is my cure.  I haven’t had a migraine in two months.  This is after approximately eighteen years of having at least two episodes (meaning, they last for several days straight) a month.  Ha!  Who knew?!

8.  IN RELIGION:

I’ll skip all the hows and whys on this one and just get to my lesson.  I learned that I have never and probably will never be a “religious” person.  I have too many issues with religious practices and “authorities”.  I learned it is better for ME to be “spiritual”.  By this I mean, it is more important for ME to put my personal relationship with God first rather than engage in any ritualistic, doctrinal, typically non-biblical beliefs and practices.

I must read my bible daily, pray to God, commune with others and share of His goodness, be a good steward of His money, and strive daily to be more Christ-like.  This is not bound to any particular church affiliation or pastoral relationship.  Doing these things won’t make me the most popular on a church board, but my spirit will be fulfilled.

9.  IN BLOGGING:

I started this blog on September 17, 2008 because family is important to me and I love to write.  I thought I would just mention daily about some part of family life and perhaps someone would learn something.  But, this blog is more than that.

Throughout the years, I have assisted clients in getting divorced, collecting and delaying child support, terminating and earning custody rights… and I have hated every moment.  Sure, I do my job well.  But, the fighting… the tit for tat… the mean-spirited, back-stabbing, selfishly blood-sucking members of each family that decided it was better to go for blood than remember the love they once shared for each other… or if there never was any love, just remembering “do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”…  Argh!

Although family law is not the only law I practice, it is the field that hangs heaviest on my heart.  I play my part in resolving disputes and further dissolving broken families, but I can’t help but wonder if there was another way.  Was there something I could have done to SAVE the family?  Sure, I wouldn’t have any family law clients if all families were happy all the time (except for adoptions–now, I LOVE those), but I’m ok with that.  Family is that important to me.

Now, for my lesson.  I learned that this blog is not just for me to pore my heart and soul out, but to receive support and knowledge from you, the readers.  This blog is therapeutic for me because I can get my thoughts out, be reminded of the most important things in life when I have a bad moment, and learn from objective strangers… and the few family and friends that pretend to enjoy this blog.    This blog is not just about holding other families together, but MINE as well.

THANK YOU FOR READING.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 

  Pick up any self-help book on discovering your inner self, read any blog archive on the pursuit of happiness, research any tip on career satisfaction, engage in at least one chat about the purpose of life, and you will no doubt encounter at least one mention about the key to happiness and success being in doing what you love to do.  There must be something innate in us that predisposes us to loving to do certain things.  Do anything else, and it’s no wonder we are losing our minds so unhappy and unfulfilled.  It’s no wonder we turn to alcoholism, over-eating, and anti-depression medication.

If this is your first time visiting this blog, you may be nosy curious enough to click on the About Me page and find that I am an attorney.  You may even ask yourself, “Why in the world is this attorney wasting time blogging about family life?”  Well, I think that’s a valid question.  But, for me the more valid question would be, “Why is this wonderfully creative artist, writer, and blogger, an attorney?”

Did I lose you there?

Do you find it surprising that after six years of undergrad (I worked full-time), two years of grad, three years of law school, three days of the Texas bar, all kinds of career experiences, networking resources, and impeccable references that I would rather blog?  (This is not bragging, folks.  I’m making a point here.)  You’re right.  That does sound absurd.  But, it’s the truth.  I’m sure it wouldn’t help my argument if I mentioned that I certainly make more money as an attorney than I do blogging.  And, with over $100,000 in student loans, money should probably be more of a priority.  Right?

Would it matter to you if I said that I LOVE doing this?  Would it matter if I told you that this is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done?  What about if I said that this has always been a dream of mine…and that whenever someone asked what I wanted to do, I would always throw in that I was an artist and I wanted to be a writer on top of whatever else I said?  And, what if I said that happiness (which, mostly means being with my family) is more important to me than money?

As a blogger and freelance writer, I get to be at home with my daughter and do what I love to do.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  I can still take the legal cases that I want and turn down the rest that seem to be more hassle than they are worth.  Don’t get me wrong, I may do full-time legal work in the future when my child[ren] are in school, but I won’t neglect my first love of writing.

I’ve also learned that if you do what you love, you will be good at it and the money will come.  What’s better?  If you’re happy, it’s contagious.  You will share your happiness with everyone around you.  Happy you… happy family… happy community.

Don’t get it confused.  I wouldn’t trade my journey to this point for anything in the world.  I draw upon my experiences when I write and I didn’t become a starving artist (just a starving student, at times).  I felt it was better to perfect the day craft, learn some transferable skills, pour my time, energy, and money into my hobby, and wha-lah!  It would all work out one day.  So, no regrets…except I wish I had been a little smarter to get more scholarship money…but anywho….

So, I ask you to take inventory of where you are, what you are doing, and who you are.  Are you happy with it?  Would you rather do something else?  Are you doing what you love to do?